'Life's Lessons'

When I was a child my grandmother use to say things that seemed profound including 'Don't live your life for a man; live you life first, then include him in the journey' I loved how she would make me laugh and as a teenager she would surprise me with her wisdom, just by expressing something she believed in. I loved her advice, although she would never have agreed that she was giving any; her rich sense of humour and her strong will for independence inspires me more now. I guess as a grown woman I can appreciate her character.

In 1931, my Gran (who was 19) gave birth to her son out of wedlock (the father ran off) and as an independent woman she went off into the world and forged her own life, job and finally a marriage on her own terms! She did what worked for her including eventually having a daughter (my mum)  who she adored and brought up with a sense of bravery and a knowledge of the real world, which was not seen in a typical 50s girl.  Unlike my mum I grew up in the 80s, with an alcoholic father and a mother who, although didn't deserve the ill treatment, had forgotten the bravery she possessed and instead lived serving him.  As for me, I spent twenty years as a stay-at-home mum and then ventured off into the world and became a student of writing; which is an interest I have always had!

You are probably wondering where I am headed with this conversation, well I wanted to let you into my life so you can see how one strong woman left a legacy of experience, not always acknowledged by my mother and myself, and made us think we could do anything; if we wanted to! Finding the strength to make a life worthy of one's ambition stems from how you were brought up and in my case, I had a strong role model who up until her passing in 1989 was a strong advocate for living life.

So, take my Grandmother's advice and make a life for yourself before you include someone else in it. At least then you would have created who you are meant to be and therefore can share a little or lot of what you have become with that person. Or, you could find the right one, get married, have children and twenty years later go to University for the first time and write a novel! I like the second one; because that is what I did and I wouldn't have it any other way!

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself" - George Bernard Shaw